Fergus James
It’s been a year since we became parents. Our lives haven’t been the same since and thank the good lord for that.
Up until the night of January 9th, when the contractions started with you in my belly we fed the cows. You and I driving the truck and daddy throwing bales off the back. We fixed some fence, shovelled some snow made supper and I baked a couple dozen cookies. As I was baking cookies the cramping started. I walked a bit more around the house, then quietly said to your dad. “ I need to have a bath, maybe that will ease these cramps.”
I lay in the water, and the cramps eased up. I climbed into my jammies and lay in bed, the cramping returned. It was 8:30 and I was exhausted. I wanted the cramping to go away so I could have one last nights rest at least. I just wanted sleep. I used the contraction timer app on my phone and it said it was time to get to a hospital. 2hrs away we packed up and headed to town. It was calm, it was peaceful it was pure bliss. All the anxiety I had had over the past 9months about going into labour dissipated into the winter night air. We turned on the country music station and all the old goodies were playing, David lee Murphy, John Anderson and Garth Brooks. We jammed and sang the whole way into town. We stopped and watched a big bull moose cross the highway in front of us and lazily go into the darkness of the night. I breathed through the mild contractions and held your daddy’s hand. Love filled the truck and our excitement couldn’t be contained. When we got to the hospital they told us you weren’t ready to arrive, I was only 1cm dialated... what? I’ve gotta be getting close these contractions we’re getting stronger. My plan for absolutely NO drugs quickly changed an hour into our hospital stay. GIVE ME ALL THE DRUGS!! We spent the night in the hospital, gracious that they found us a bed and we didn’t have to return home. I started with Morphine as the contractions got stronger. And then the sweet nurse brought in the laughing gas. It didn’t take the pain away but it eased it. Daddy slept in the chair on and off and I breathed through the contractions the whole night. We would walk, we would roll, I’d try to sleep and you would wiggle and push.
I dozed off for a bit and when I woke up the nurse brought me in a tray of cream of wheat and orange juice. Those were our Favorites when you were in my belly. Cream of wheat was Life!!!
Our doctor arrived (we have the best doctor by the way) and I decided that when I was dialated enough I wanted an epidural. I had been against it my whole pregnancy, looking back though I was so grateful I did get it. It allowed me a days rest and sleep while the pain eased up. I nodded off that day blissful to the fact that this was my first day off work in 7months. The hospital stay was pretty great! I loved it! People were bringing me food and drinks and catering to my every wish, which was mostly let me sleep.
At 530pm they decided to induce me as you had snuggled back into rest. Here we go, I couldn’t help thinking I don’t even know what you look like? I was so excited to see your face. For two hours I pushed, and it’s not like they portray it in the movies. It was calm, and relaxed, there was no screaming or yelling. I just bared down as I had seen so many cows do over the years and went to work. Pushing when it was time and resting in between. You decided near the end to have your hand come out along side your head. I was so tired, I said ‘ just give me a c section, cut me open.’ The doctor tried the vacuum first and luckily, on the first try, arm in tow along side your head you arrived! On January 10th at 7:43pm weighing 9lbs 1oz.
They lay you on my chest, no crying just contentment to be with us. Daddy put his hand on your back and gave me a kiss on my head, I looked at him then at you and with a heart bursting full of love I spoke the words.
“This is my baby, I love him so much.”

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